Hi Honey,
I felt sad when I read your post because I relate to what you have said. Its hard sometimes when all you want is for them to try and understand. Unfortunately she will only see what she sees right now and the alcohol is making this worse.
Keep doing what you are doing, I found one thing that has helped me and that is to keep my distance right now and only call once in a while to say hi and let her know I love her. I have learnt that the alcoholic doesnt remember half of what is said anyway, so I dont get into any of the dramas or heated arguements anymore. I just hang up.
I wish you all the best.