Originally Posted by
Lilyflower 
That said, I would much rather people came onto this forum to vent rather than have a blazing row with their A. There can be different types of name calling to the A: just getting the frustration out of our system, so we can clear the fog in our mind and re focus, thus getting ourselves back on track with our recovery, OR plainly just wanting to blame an A for all the woes in our world.
The former can be productive and lead to personal growth, the latter is just directed anger and feeds our negativities.
Lily xxxxxxxx
Hi LF:
I don't think that it's appropriate behavior to hurl insults at addicts/alkies, whether it's in their faces or behind their backs. If I lower myself to the level of the alcoholic, then I become like him, even if I am not drinking. I can't speak for all the other codies, but for me, allowing myself to descend to the level of the addict/alkie has been the most troubling thing about codependency. I am getting into the same hole he is in; the only difference is we are not sharing the same bottle of wine.
Recovery, for me, has been to learn new ways of responding to people who take the low road, whether they are alkies in my life, or people who flip me the bird on the freeway. It has to become a way of life for me, and that is why I have to constantly remind myself in order to break my bad habits.
As far as venting goes, I don't think that it's very healthy, but I think there may be exceptions to the rule. I had a buried resentment way, way down inside me that came up recently. It was a great feeling to bring that resentment up to the surface and get it out so that I could deal with it. I have since forgiven that person, and I continue to do so every day because I don't want to hang on to it. OTOH, I have had resentments that were just boiling inside me that I used to vent, but my venting only made me sicker. So is venting healthy or not? I guess I would say that depends on whether or not the resentment is buried deep down inside you or not.