Hi all --
I haven't been around for a few days, but I thought I'd put out a quick update. The semester has started well and I'm busy but feeling strong and competent.
The best part that I wanted to post here is that I have been finding my Wonder Warrior Woman Princess really working. She's actually stepping up to stop me from the pointless wall-assault. There was one day this past week when I could feel my insides melting and my will power dripping away, and I pictured this Lucy Lawless/Linda Carter figure in powerful leather bustier and boots stepping in and giving me the strength to distract my attention. I grabbed hold of her and let her pull me to something better, reminding me that I need to detach and hold onto my own insides, wrapping my arms around me in love and facing reality when I feel ready to put myself in a co-dependent head-on crash. I didn't lose my sadness, but I didn't go and push myself into a confrontation. I sat with myself, and I found my own space ok - not the scary or stressed out place I usually try to run from when the anxiety comes a-calling.
I also have been thinking about that little girl, and how she felt the need to protect everyone, and while I think she took on more responsibility than she needed to, I am feeling proud of what she could do. That's a step forward from feeling like a failure because she couldn't do what I expected her to.
I hope you all are having strong days as well.
Cheering all the way, even as it's two steps forward and one step back -
UM