I'm with Barb on this. I thought control meant I could walk to the bathroom in a straight line. I thought it meant controlling all the aspects of my life. All the things I had to do. It never occurred to me that it might be easier to control if I wasn't in the bar trying to live my life on the phone before I got too drunk to ring anyone. It really never occurred to me that my problem was the drink. Kev - I am the same as you too. Denial.
I think what helped me in my deep denial was that I was completely surrounded by alcoholics by the time I hit bottom. I remember a long time before the end wondering if I should try to cut back. I remember the time of day and exactly where I was when I had my first "maybe I should be careful how much I drink today" thought. It gave me a fright so I buried it with booze. 15 years later here I am.