I know that when I was in prison, before I got work release, there were times when I didn’t want much contact with others on the outside. I did it so I could get my own thinking straight and was working on myself. At the same time you cant or shouldn’t, and I didn’t, withdraw from everyone, especially your children. With nothing to do in prison, like you said, time and the outside can be the hardest thing to deal with (besides other inmates, but that’s a whole other story) and from my own experience, many don’t do it well. You have no control over anything, not even what you can do in some respects while locked up, much less the outside. But all this is not an excuse for not being a man and doing what you should be doing, just something that I had to learn for myself and lots don’t while on the inside. I am not saying that in and of myself I am special, just blessed by God to have gone through the whole experience and all the STEPS of the last 3 years. It takes a lot of hard work, and time and being real with oneself and the world and how things are in general. Even at my lowest I still loved my son and it hurt so bad knowing the crap I was doing I couldn’t even begin to describe it and it makes you feel worthless and in turn fueled my addiction, until the pain from using was greater than the fear of changing, and entering into a controlled environment was a blessing to me, and saved my life, and given me a chance to change my perspective of things. Well I hope you all the best and please keep posting. When things don’t seem to be working and you feel adrift, just push through and keep doing what you know that you should and it will come back around to you, is what I have experienced. Thanks. :ghug