"I beleive when you lose the love and respect for them it is very hard to get back."
AWEDA, I share your feelings completely. I remember at the end facing away in bed from my XABF and when he put a hand on me, I pulled away. Right then I knew that old feeling I'd had with my XH years ago. When I pull away physically, it coincides with me pulling away emotionally, and that is all a result of losing love and respect.
Losing that love and respect doesn't mean that I don't still wish that he would save his life. It just means that our relationship as it was had ended. Now knowing what I know about him ... a much bigger picture ... I do not see how it is possible that I could ever get that love and respect back. Very sad, but I have a much better life now!