Uncertain Me

Hey Mike -

I knew I could count on you to check in, and then to have useful guides.

I was sure there were answers somewhere on this site. I think I keep resisting the Al-Anon "thing" in part because I don't have a direct connection to alcoholic people - everyone is at least a "step" away (ACoA husband, my mom's sister's ex-husband, etc.) and I feel a bit like a fraud. I hear you when you say that it isn't always the actual alcoholism that's needed to create the damage, but when I read what others who are directly connected to alcoholic people endure, I don't feel like I qualify. Still, I can tell since you keep having the answers, that I must have had more of a disfunctional family - or at least I responded to my family's dynamic dysfunctionally - than I admit. I'll go check out the links you have here.

Are you trying to hint at something here?
My mom, for as much as I can understand she was responding to me as a damaged person herself, would get so irritated when I would keep talking; her statement was "would you please shut up?". (One of my aunts had a much nicer way of letting me know I had talked too much - she would say "You have given us so much to think about already, it would be nice to give us some time to consider that already." ) When my son was born - my parents' first grandson - and he was talker, I worried that my mom wouldn't want to be around him either. Instead, she would let him join her as they would do things around the house, and she would listen as he would spend the whole time telling her stories. I kept wondering who had taken my mom and replaced her with this patient grandma - until I realized that most people become nicer & more patient beings with their grandchildren.

Thanks for the guidance, Mike. I'll go check it all out ... after I get done with my prep for tomorrow.

UM/WWWP (I might need to find another avatar, I think!)