DesertEyes

Hey there WWP

That's called "fear of failure", and it's very common with us children of "toxic" families. I could never do anything right for my biological family. Being a smart kid I quickly learned that the best way to not get emotionally blasted at the end of a task was to simple not take o any tasks. As a plan B, find some way to distract the adults so they'd never notice I wasn't doing the task.

From what you describe, it sounds like your "little girl inside" is anticipating criticism. She hasn't yet learned that WWP will _not_ hurt her in any way.

yup, and since she's a warrior, she would tell you that the best way to attack a brick fortress is _not_ by throwing yourself against the wall. It's by gathering an army of allies and sneaking in thru the back window

That question gets asked about once a month "next door" in the al-anon and nar-anon forums. Aka

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/

Check out those forums and see if you find anything useful.

That one is easy. _you_ can know.

You go learn from the al-anon people.

none of the above, it's a al-anon thing

yup. And you have also increased your awareness of this "character defect" so that you can start to overcome it

Did you ever do that with your parents? Ask a lot of questions? Did your parents go crazy trying to answer all your questions?

Mike