I was with my husband for almost 24 years married for 20 of those years, we had two sons together and just over 4 years ago he go involved with crack cocaine. Our sons are now 18 and 16 and they were 14 and 12 when this nightmare started. From when I learned of what was going on with him was in July and by the end of Sept he was out of the house and buy Dec only 6 months of him being on this drug he was arrested for 5 armed robberies. He name was in the newspapers and on the radio and the boys and I had to go out and face the world with the stares and the finger points. Before this he had his own trucking company and was well known, plus himself and I both grew up here....it was a total shock for us and for those that knew him. The drug took him down and quick.
He ran off at the age of 43 with an 18 year old postitute and the boys and I caught him with her. He did do some jail time while waiting for his trail date and I stuck by him through it all. But little did I realize just how sick I was getting myself, my beleif was I could get him off this drug and our lives would return to normal.
We went through treatment centers and him spending time in and out of jail....this started in 2003 and he was just released once again after a 4 month stint in jail on Dec 1 I am just waiting now as the judge has the case in his hands, for my divorce. I feel sad but there was not one thing I could do to stop it and beleive me I tried. I am not sorry that I tried and tried, because when it came down to the end of me giving up I knew that I tried . Some how the boys and I had to go on without him there was no more we could do.
Yes I can say that I still do and always will love him, but him not the drug, I just learned that I was not fighting him I was fighting an endless battle with a drug and the drug won.
Through it all it has changed me, I will never be me again, but that is not all that bad because I have learned a lot through it all too and a lot for the good. Not a nice way to have to learn, life takes us down some roads and we have to learn to walk them in any which way we can....believe me, we do learn again how to walk a straight road....
Rose