from what you have posted about your husband, who has been volatile, violent and abusive in the past, I would say that he may be trying to provoke you into an action that will generate a chaotic, dramatic event because, honestly, this is what is most familiar to his thinking.
Some of us A's are not at all familiar with peace, calm and harmony in our lives. So, we create intrigues, messes and problems.
My concern has always been with you, hopeangel. How are YOU feeling about this? Forget what HE's thinking for a minute. How does this make you feel? Why do you put up with this type of twistedness?