When I started I did not want to go back to meetings either. I think it was more of me admitting once and for all that I had a huge problem w/ alcohol to everyone around me. Once I started going I found it was a place of safety, and I BELONGED. Something I never thought I did in my life. I never felt like I "fit in", and in AA I did. Today I look foward to going to meetings. A lot of my friends are there. I would sudjest to go to a few meetings around you, and see if there is one you injoy. Heck!! You might even become one of those Happyy AA people. Life is not all that bad being happy. Better then the alternative.