I am excited for you! Have you found the meeting you want to go to? Instead of going off an internet list I would like to recommend that you call the phone number in your area because then you will be sure to get the most current information. I have read a few times about people finally getting there and there is no longer a meeting. That said, you do not have to speak. There will be a reading or topic for discussion and members take turns “sharing”. What was confusing to me in the beginning was that there was not much talk about the alcoholics. Al Anon is for you. Best of luck…I hope you go forward. You have nothing to lose and as they will tell you they will happily refund your misery if you decide not to stay.