Welcome to SR! So sorry for what you are going through. Other's will be along shortly to give great advice.
I can only tell you a bit about my history with my exrabf (ex recovering boyfriend). He stopped drinking 3 months after we started dating, he was 33 and had been drinking since about 16. But as the months went on, he was nasty sober, if not worse. He's depressed and refuses to seek help other than AA IF he's still there. We are no longer together and it's been difficult for me to get over.
Friends here once told me that "you can take the alochol away from the alcoholic and what you are left with is ick". That was definately my case. My ex is who he is regardless, drinking or not. He chose unacceptable behavior and lives a miserable, unhealthy, sad life and i don't want to live that way.
I can't say what is going on with your situatoin but maybe this is truly who he is and it's more clear as you live together. Keep reading, look at the stickies at the top of this forum. I could so relate and everyone here is so great. You can read any of our histories
Al-anon was a great start for me too.