Not to say that this is the case in your situation (which if you really do meet her soon,etc I think would help answer your questions),but I DID ask the questions,albeit with my AH and he was NOT truthful,even though I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Don't automatically turn off your "little voice" because you are trying not to over-react in the other direction.
Take it slow and trust yourself. imho if you aren't comfortable,you aren't. Figure out what would help,and then proceed or cut your losses.
Good luck. (I'm not one to talk.I have not been out there in the trenches since my AH divorced me last year,and it was 30yrs before that,so take what I say as you like.
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