Thank you all for the kind words and advice. I will be attending Al-Anon meetings at your suggestions and I have scheduled an appointment to see my 'T". I have looked inside myself and I see a codie, I see what you have pointed out to me. I have spent the last week apart from Axw and I have looked at the situation more clearly. What I see is that I became enmeshed with her too much too fast again!. i need to be me and have me time and activities as I have for the past 2 years. she needs time too for her things. I have to say NO when it is not right for me, and i have to see a 2 way street again, with this relationship. She has a way of drawing me into her chaos so easily, and her life still has chaos in it. I need to stand back and watch from the side. I cannot fix her, she needs to fix herself.
Now I still love her very much and want her to be a part of my life, and i want it to be right for us both.
Funny thing happened to me, I remember the first courtship and she chased me, I played the nonchalent couldent care attitude. When she had me interested, she made the switch on me to take the power in the relationship and I stayed there for a long time. When we split I took the power back, I rejected her, she chased other men and caught some for a short while, but they moved on( or she did) . Now I have been the one chasing her, and the dynamics have changed. After 6 weeks, I am pulling back, not chasing so hard. taking a break, i am interested to see how she reacts. This is just how I feel right now, I know this could change. I have spent the week without her and I am doing fine, which is interesting to me, I thought I was not able to be without her. I do ejoy my freedom and I do enjpy time with her,just not 'all the time"
Maybe just Maybe I have made some progress this last week, and thanks to all of you for the help.