Cinderella,
I know that making yourself go through the motions even when your heart is not into it is the way to walking upward through depression. Eventually you will find your new normal and it will be good. And I also read a quote on these boards that said something like "going through the motions results in gaining the e-motions" so please keep trying! It's hard being the one who has to accept all the responsibilities, and I know you don't feel any strength, but you are showing that power you possess just by reaching out here. Hang tough, sweetie.