Hi......
I have been off of benzos almost a year. I started taking them as prescribed at about age 20. The were not my first DOC. In the end they were my DOC. I did not have anxiety or panic attacks when they were prescribed. (I was going through many health challenges and had to have a hysterectomy at age 23, so the dr's prescribed them)
Fast forward 17 years. I got hooked on the benzos. I was on them 95 percent of the last 15 years. I think taking the benzos for so long deterred me from having any coping skills for anxiety. Does that make sense? Last January I detoxed off of them and have been clean and sober since.
After I went to rehab and came home I would awaken very startled and my heart would be racing. I blamed this on detox and it DID get better.
Well, that has started again.
I had about 6 of them yesterday. I wake up frightened. My heart is beating really fast and I feel like I cannot breathe. I am not on any psych medication right now. Is that a panic attack? If it is what do I do? It is one of the worst feelings I have ever had. Total and complete powerlessness. I thought panic attacks happened when people were awake in a panicky situation. Do they happen from sleep?
I think they are situational. My husband was planning on going out of town today and I have not stayed home alone sober. I hate that this freaks me out. I feel so weak and dependent. So I was supportive about him leaving. (only 2 nights). But I woke up sobbing in the middle of the night begging him not to go. He is very supportive and understanding and is not going. I hate feeling so ******* dependent.
I am beating myself up over this. I wonder what I can do about it. I tell my self that if I really am trusting in my Higher Power then I would not be so frightened.
Are these true panic attacks? I am not sure. As fate would have it I have an appt today with my psych dr. He is the dr that saw me through detox. I saw him about a month ago after he put me on some depression meds. I quit taking them b/c the depression got worse. He gave me a new prescription but I never started taking it. The depression has been alot better this past month and I do not want to take something that I do not need.
I am rambling. I am having trouble putting my thoughts together. I hope this makes sense. Thanks for reading and any responses. My thanks button does not work, so thanks in advance.
