My ex even bought me the diamond engagement ring he'd never given me during one attempt at reconciliation. I tried to believe him, really, plus that ring was gorgeous! But by the third day of wearing it, I was just sick and gave it back (well, actually, he demanded it back!). Another time I remember I was talking on the phone with my best friend about missing him one night, and she said, "Okay, can you picture him in your house right now?" and I realized, oh God, no. My friend still reminds me of that one!
I'm not making light of your anquish over this, but just that I understand doubt and "love" after so many years with a husband. Trust your gut-I believe it's your HP helping you to make the right decisions.