I was treating myself to a Chipotle burrito seven years ago. My epiphany was when I realized, like a bolt from the blue, that I simply did not want to be in a love relationship with any kind of substance abuser any more. Not ever again. I have a deep seated disrespect and nausea about it, and I was trying to overcome that nausea for years because I "fell in love" (like it was some kind of hole)
I can't deny that part of my value system any more, not even if it means that I need to go through parts of my life alone. Denying my basic values sucks the happiness out of me, and I DO have a choice in the matter now. I can walk away. There are other joys to be had other than the kind I have to surrender my soul for....
Happy new year hugs everybody
