i am so deeply sorry you lost your beloved husband, and your children and you must feel so lost without him. the holidays are so hard because they bring all the memories back and emphasize the devastating losses. so many have aching hearts through this time, and the long dark days of winter don't help.
one small step at a time....if you can just sleep enough hours, eat enough small meals, and try to bless yourself in ways that soothe you....walks in the park or sitting beside a lake...nature helps us heal. animals do, too. when we cannot be social, a pet helps us in comforting ways.
you can always visit here and talk about your loss. if you feel vulnerable to relapse, you know what to do. but feeling your pain right now is honoring your husband's memory.
just hang on...there is no great love without great pain. i am glad you had 22 years. how wonderful for you. and for him.
much love.
many pastors offer grief counseling and support.