I'm glad you found us and I'm very sorry that you lost your husband in such a terrible tragedy. You mentioned your sobriety. In the wake of this situation, have you been able to maintain sobriety? The holidays are difficult for those of us who have suffered losses far less than your's.
Do you have any family members and/or friends who can be with you and your children during the holiday season? Being with loved ones can help cushion the pain a bit. I don't know if you have any particular belief system. I happen to have one, personally, and the power of prayer has gotten me over some very tough hurdles.
We have people on this site who have lost their loved ones to the disease of alcoholism. I'm sure they'll be along soon to share their experience, strength, and hope with you.
missyou, we're here to support you in any way we can. I'm sorry I cannot offer more than to lift you and your children up in prayer. Please keep posting, and I hope we can be of some help to you during this difficult time.