"I'm gonna sit right down and write myself a letter ..." Probably nobody remembers that song. My friend Dale has received quite a few gripe letters from me about R and she has griped back about him. Then we got tired of griping. Then we plotted. Then we got tired of that. Eventually it's all out and over with. Now there's just a ghost that comes and goes and we kinda/sorta wonder if he's still living.
Whether you write it all out, jog it out, or yell it out to yourself, get it out. I didn't when I got divorced and it was a mistake to hold all that in.
In your case, you're still living with your AH. In the case of my dad living here (85 years old), I just walk away and go to the sanctuary of my room. I surely don't want to yell at him about the things he does that irritate me, so I remove myself from the situation.