Vanessa,
I go to a rehab twice a month. It is required that the family or friends go to a meeting before they can see their loved one. It is either a Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting. I know they have family meetings and have been told that it is about both of you, your feelings etc. Each rehab has different things set up, I know one of them has a two day program for the families to get help, and it is each week. One even has it on Friday night, Sat all day and part of Sunday. It starts out as a meeting for YOU and helps and teaches you what to do and not to do with an addict. They do say if you would do it for someone else without thinking twice than it should be ok to help the addict, example take them for a meal, or take them to get gas in their car.
Good luck and wishing you the best of luck with this