http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...n-t-facts.html
This post help me so, so much in trying to get through what I've been
going through. i knew i was angery, but there was a deep sence of
guilt..I'm actaully quit in person. Probably from walking on eggshells
all my life.
Bascailly i wasn't processing my anger or any of my emotions that
i deem or label as bad or other people's comprehension about feelings.
I thought i was going to go crazy becuase some of those feelings
that society deem as Bad,,so I shouldn't feel them. It's bascailly another
form of denial.
By allowing myself to process my anger...I've havn't done anything
stupid in the real world...i had to go chop trees for a while.
I use to just play my electric guitar and release all my pin up
energy, But i can't do that anymore becuase i damaged my hand.
I used to ride my motorcycle..my GF didn't like it becuase
she deemed it danagerouse when i would hop on my bike becuase
i was angery..true..
But after very bike ride I come back with a smile on my face and
mellow. But it truned into another arguement. She would hide my
keys..and i would be T-off and get more t-off becuase she hid my keys.
The bike had to go of course..
But after reading that post..it took that heavy guilty feelings or
perceptions i had. I've never read it like that before. It was something
new to me.
There's another thread that LaTee posted about getting in touch
with your dark side. It help me too..Becuase i deem anger, hate
as dark or BAD.
I also use to keep a notepad and express all of my emotions on paper.
It's an excersize i got from the course of miracles.
i would call my agf every name in the book..and write exactly how i feel
at that moment. My anger gets release..There's pin hole from me stabing the notepad.lol
It helped me a lot..But i lived with a phyco..
She wanted to anylized all the of the stuff i wrote.
well..my dairy/journal is a person thing.
But ya know...active alki's are crazy. I got kind of T-off that she violate me.
But she dosn't see it like that.lol