Originally Posted by
rhock 
... we're not married....no marriage is perfect.
I am a fiercly autonymous person. Autonymous to a fault... had no serious relationships until I met my wife ten years ago.
I check in and answer questions about my life. I'm VERY independent - I TRY not to be closed off or distant.
didn't offer the $20 deductible to me. I spend money instead of going to the doctor.
I have more than my own fair share of problems asking for help and admitting I need it
any suggestions at all?
Hi
I have a couple of suggestions.
I hope you don't mind if I did some editing of your post. I would find it pretty annoying so feel free to ignore this. Except that you asked for suggestions so here goes.
If she was codependent, she would almost certainly have made the doc appointment or at least given you the $20.
Are you possibly looking to move on and get some of that freedom you crave? Could she be sensing that? She may be fearful that she is seeing the end of your relationship before you guys even know it is coming. She is insecure is all and her intuition knows. The mixed messages are the key to that.
The Friends and Family site might have more advice for you.
I find that looking hard at what it going on inside ourselves usually gives us the best clues about what is happening to us and how we deal with it.