I can't tell you what to do, but I can share with you what I chose to do. My boyfriend, Richard, was in the end stages of alcoholism. He was living on borrowed time. I knew the end was near. But I didn't have the strength to stay with him to the very end. It was affecting my health and my sanity. And it was affecting the quality of my daughter's life, too.
So, I asked him to move out. He set himself up in an efficiency apartment near the Veteran's Hospital, so he could use public transportation to get to his doctor's appointments. I would pick him up on weekends (but only when he was sober), and we'd spend the weekends together. When he began drinking heavily again, I stopped seeing him on weekends and our only communication was via phone (but only when he was sober).
In the end, I decided to do a combination of what was best for me and what was best for him. But mostly I decided to do whatever I felt was necessary for me to have no regrets when he passed away, whether others regarded my actions as co-dependent or not.
Richard passed away six months ago. I hadn't seen him for several months before he died, but we spoke on the phone just three days before he passed away. He knew that I loved him and I knew that he loved me. And that was all that mattered.
I have no regrets. I made the best choices I could in a very difficult situation. I know you'll do the same. Keeping both of you in my prayers.