I am in a hyperstress mode -need guidance
It's been a while since I posted. I didn't know where else to go to have people listen that can 'get it'.
I have been estranged from my AH since September. Got my own place, took our daughter and cat and left him without notice.
He claims that he has not drunk any since I left. We went to couples counseling for 3 sessions before he said that I was belittling him and that he didn't want to go anymore. He says he wants us to move back. I try to go over there and spend 'quality time' but I can't wait to leave every time.
Daycare is closed this week and he is off work too so we agreed that he'd watch our child during the week. I'll come over and spend the evenings with them but she'll stay with daddy until Friday night.
I called over there earlier today to arrange a time for me to come by and spend time. Little M (3 yo) answered the phone and wouldn't get AH on the phone. I talked to her for a while thinking he'd pick up the phone but he didn't. I ended the called expecting him to call back. After 10 minutes of no callback I called over there again. M answered and said that daddy was busy and wouldn't come to the phone. I asked repeatedly and finally said to her that I was getting angry and that I needed daddy on the phone.
He came to the phone and acted so d*mn indigant that I needed to talk to him. I said things like 'your the adult, adults answer the phone.' and 'I didn't know if there was something wrong because he didn't come to the phone.' He replied that he was sorry that he didn't 'snatch the phone from her' and I said 'whoa buddy, I didn't say "snatch" so don't even consider construing my words against me because that isn't going to happen!' He was silent. I said I'd be there in a bit and hung up the phone with him.
My heart raced and I started crying afterwards. Am I so emotionally raw that I made a mountain out of a molehill? Or was I appropriate? I mean I bet he'd love to have the sheriff show up to check on him. I'm glad I didn't have to do that but if he wasn't coming to the phone, the sheriff could get there a lot faster than I if there was a real emergency.
I am so angry right now. If I had another babysitter he wouldn't have her. And on a side note this just tells me that neither of us are ready for us to be a couple again.
I need a hug.
-Allison