I can't answer that for you Alice.
I'm sorry that you're going through what you're going through.
This is my first x-mas after my break up...not the first i've spent
alone. i don't even know what a normal happy x-mas is suppost
to be anymore..All i know is years ago...We didn't get a tree..it
totally triped me out. Even when i was single i manage to get
a x-mas tree.
I've ask that same question not too long ago.
I don't know...that's my answer...is that "i don't know"
i went out of my mind trying to figure her out. And don't
really understand how anyone can be so cold or numb.
It hurts and is fustrating..becuase i just don't get it.
I don't get now i can live with someone for over 10 years
of my life and the other person just totally feel anything.
Other than she's still pop pills as she always has.
It round and round in my head and narly drove me crazy
and almost into an obsession trying to figure it out.
I guess the relationship is not important to her
or I'm not important to her anymore...I'm all used up.
Yet, i struggle to let go and she's off in la laa land somewhere.
Nope she dosn't give me a second thought..even if she did
I'm on the bottom of her food change and her thoughts of me
would be too inconvinent for her..especially now.
I'm just trying to get well and heal from all of this
I stayed 3 years way, way too long becuase i really love
her.
I don't wish it upon anyone. I hope people have success
stories and not have to go through any of this.
i wish i can say your BF will be different...
but you're bascailly living through something that i did..
I did it over and over again..becuase i had a lot of hope.
I can't afford that kind of hope today.
it is this...no one can make me stay away from her.
I know how you feel.