i thought about t.v. too, although t.v. camera guys are more combersome and such, but it's a thought....especially since the large paper i'd approach has a t.v. counterpart...i'm just not too keen about being still photographed during a brain seizure and being video-taped just seems that much more daunting. Some things to think on for sure.
i just got my bill in the mail today from my week of being inpatient to the tune of $19,000 and i don't think that includes any of the costs associated with the 3 ECT treatments i had while i was inpatient...$5,000 of it was just for the cost of the semi-private room. Luckily, my insurance will cover most of that i think.
The other thing i have yet to metion is that for the past 2 days i've been hanging out with the guy who cleaned out my checking account. I know how stupid that sounds and probably is and is why i've had a bit of a hard time coming clean about it to you guys. But please know i am very much on alert and watchful and trying to be very careful as much as possible....although last night i had a severe asthma attack and he drove me to the ER in my car and dropped me off at the door i truely was fearful that i'd never see my car again and i became super thankful that work had requested me turn over my camera during this time off b/c otherwise it would have all been in the trunl of my car.
Even though he came back from parking my car and then went and got it when we were through in the ER....it still has not sat well with me and i have made it known to him. i've almost made him get lost several times b/c i AM afraid of being swept up in a con, but i've also known too many addicts who think they don't really have a problem either. He slipped because in my ECT stupper i gave him my pin # to go with my bank card i'd already given him and he was fine until he ran into an old drug buddy of his. I'm not excusing him stealing my paycheck from me and thru last night and today i've realized i can't forgive him for it either...so i'm going to give him a SMALL chance to pay it back to me as that is the only way i'll ever be able to trust him enough so as to not end up telling him to take a hike and don't come back.
Why don't i just do that?
It'd be much easier. that's for sure. but if any bit of him is for real then i don't want to risk....
....
well i think i'm going to hang on a little bit longer b/c yeah it's a risk, but to me the greater risk is to never find love...so call me daft, but i think my higher power is determined to keep me walking delicately into this one with my eyes WIDE open for at least a little bit longer....to give the guy a little time to show me if he is for real or really off.
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