Originally Posted by
Kindeyes 
I guess I wonder though......did I allow myself to be in that "second" position? If I would have done something differently, would it still have happened? I know that I can't change the past but I am trying to reflect on my own behaviors and wonder if my son would have turned to alcohol anyway. I guess it's really a waste of my time to wonder that. What is just is. I guess I would like to talk to people who are in AA to better understand the disease from their perspective. Other than my son (who understandably) doesn't really want to talk to me about it, I haven't really talked to an alcoholic in recovery.
Spew alerts aside, LOL, I think this is kind of like which came first, the chicken or the egg.
I had to come back to this 'cause I had to think about it...the best I can come up with, in my current state of mind is, I think (my opinion based on my situation) is that whether or not I put myself in second place in my eyes, it didn't matter because in 'his' eyes, I was in second place. It was a lose-lose propostion that I was in. I put myself there because I was hopeful for a change, but he was happy to keep me there, enabling his choices all the way. Until I learned better that is!
Hmmm...I think I just confused myself. I know what I meant though, LOL! Sorry, I'm under some stress right now...I'm probably not thinking clearly!