I also don't see it as preaching. I see it as a reality check. Without even realizing it I was placing myself second- or third- last behind everyone else. My AH was always first. It did take me hitting bottom with his leaving for me to realize this. I am learning new things everyday about myself- and trying very hard not to be hurt by his words and actions. I have to tell myself to think about myself- it's not second nature. It's much easier (?) or maybe I'm so used to thinking about him that thinking about my needs and actions, words etc. is not as easy. Slowly I am getting the hang of it. Instead of focusing on him and what he left or why, I am trying to place myself first. Your post is just more of what I need to get me to where I'm going- on my own path. Thank you!