In AA meetings we say that people "chose the bottle" because they have the disease of alcoholism which causes a dis-ease of life with out alcohol. Alcoholics are doing the best that they can which unfortunately isn't very good for loved ones and those closest too them. It is easier if we understand the disease and can apply what so many before us have applied to their loved ones. It is very hard to acknowledge a disease that turns people the the way alcohol does. It is so sad to see such strong, smart, funny, loving, talented flip in to mean, hateful, hurtful, destructive, disheveled soup sandwiches in a matter of hours.
I mourn the dreams that I thought I were coming true. It is ok to mourn something lost than to continue to dream something that would never really be.