Depression

"The lowest ebb is the turn of the tide." anonymous

As we resurrect past situations, and the people who were involved with us, many of us begin to reexperience old depressions.

But now, we can begin to look at our depressions in a different light. Not so much from the standpoint of who or what caused them, but rather what we gained from them. As we make our list of those we've harmed, we can also think about the payoffs we experienced by having depressions. There always has to be a payoff in any continuing behavior. True, it might be a negative payoff, but it does serve a purpose.

One woman reported that migraine headaches were her payoff. It took her a long time to figure out how something that painful could work to her advantage, but she finally got it. Whenever she had a migrain, she was forced to retire to a dark room where she was unable to tolerate any sounds, sights, or smells. She might stay there for a day or more in complete seclusion until the pain and nausea had subsided enough for her to emerge.

The payoff was, of course, that during the headache episode no one could expect her to do anything. Hence, she was not only freed from responsibility, but no one had the heart to confront her when she was in such obvious pain.

Today's Step: I see clearly the payoff in my depressions and other difficulties.