Acknowledge the Adult

"We are half-ruined by conformity, but we should be totally ruined without it." Charles Dudley Warner

Our adult self is very like the character of Mr. Spock, the alien crew member in "Star Trek." The adult is logical, dispassionate, fair, reasonable, and intelligent. He or she does not react emotionally, and can see the sense in the point of view of both our inner parent and child. When conflict arises between the two, the adult attempts to restore order out of chaos. It's as if there were a committee arguing in our heads, churning our emotions into a frenzy.

When communication can be established from child to adult, and from parent to adult, it is possible for the adult to weigh the evidence and translate to each entity the other's point of view. It is at this point that the adult is able to point out viable alternatives.

In other words, our inner conflict, the inability to make comfortable decisions, and our feelings of confusion are somewhat dispelled by our adult voice of reason. It's as if our child is saying, "I want to go to the beach," and our parent fumes, "You can't go. You have to do your homework." The adult says, "Why not go to the beach after your homework is done?"

The child says, "I think I'd like to study law." The parent says, "Better not. It's too tough." The adult says, "What have you got to lose? It might work. If not, you can always try something else."

Today's Step: I connect with the dispassionate part of my being and embrace my inner adult.