isolating rut
I have had an awful past 2yrs. Probably, the 2 worst years of my adult life. I realize I had what I consider a *slip* in my al-anon/acoa program.
I wouldn't trade these past 2yrs for anything because the got me honest again and back into the program.
My husband and I made a bad/ignorant decision 2yrs ago. We decided it was o.k. to join his dads company/work. We had been living across the country, in peaceful bliss for the past 4yrs. So we moved back to our home/region of the country so my H could work with his dad and brother as a partner of sorts.
The ignorant part is 1. that we thought these dysfunctional/toxic people
had changed.
2. I thought I was *recovered* and could handle
anything if I set boundaries.
Boundaries are good and boundaries are great, but boundaries don't work on crazy people. (Thank you Melody Beattie---32 Weeks of Concious Contact
Melody: "Crazy people make you crazy"...period...)
Well, my husband and I, and our serenity and our marriage were/are *roadkill* on the crazy superhighway.
Those relatives have since moved far away....happily ignorant of our condition and of their craziness. Left us with all sorts of loose ends to tie up having to do with their move, selling their vehicle, the now defunct buisness, blah, blah, bleech.
I am back in recovery and trying to figure out what the hell just happened to us! Like a survivor of a tornado.
The good thing is hubby sees them for what they are now, after what he has suffered the past 2yrs, whereas, before, he was in denial. Leaving him with all these loose ends was my hubbies bottom, I think. We have eliminated them and their toxic influence from our lives..We don't even talk to them on the phone. Yay Us!
Soooooo, my problem is physical exercise! lol
I tend to isolate after horrible experiences like this, a pattern with me, as do so many acoa's.
I read something a beloved member of this board said today that exercise clears the mind...I love that idea and I need that! Thank you!
I struggle with in what way to exercise...I have videos...they get boring after a week. I love to hike and the outdoors..hard to do in a subdivision.
I see my need to exercise...Sick of myself and this isolating rut. It has been almost 3 months since the toxic relatives have left.
My street is a shortcut to a superWM/shopping. Very busy with people speeding. I go to the park but run into conflict with my isolating nature at the moment. No bad experiences, just me.
My son doesn't have this problem because he has many friends in the neighborhood and they are all VERY active. Thank God!
Any ideas? How do you break out of an isolating rut? Am I being too hard or soft on myself? I know I am confused on this matter. Any advice, anything words at all, I treasure what you all have to say.
Thank you,
Growing