Hi Chandra
"Cleaning up the mess (mind)" is a good phrase to describe what we are left with, and this is really a time to fill our minds with healthy, happier thoughts of the future rather than saddness from the past. It is a healing process, and it will happen.
Like having a nasty cold or flu, we have to acknowledge that it will get better slowly but surely, that we have to rest and tend to our symptoms and take very good care of ourselves, so that the recovery process can work, and sometimes walk through the day acting "As If", going about our regular routines even though we don't really feel like it, just wishing we could be over this sickness. We keep the kleenex handy, acknowledge that we feel lousy, eat lots of "recovery chicken soup" and one day we wake up and feel just a little bit better and know we are healing.
I think you are doing so well and the strength you have shown is remarkable. You are looking after yourself, not without compassion but with wisdom and awareness of your surroundings.
Picture yourself 6 months from now....where would you like to be? Back where you were or in some better place moving forward with your new life and new dreams. This "in-between" is where we cross that bridge of recovery and even though we are walking on an unfamiliar path, we know that the path was worn before us by people who found strength and hope in the new land, and that the path is lit by the light of our spirit.
You will survive and you will walk in the light again. I promise, and this program promises, and everyone who walked before you promises that.
Hugs