Last night I chaired my firt time in my Al-Anon meeting. I was scared to death and didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be there because I am in a state right now over my A. I went anyway because I know I need to be there, my last relationship was with an A also. This last A saw fit to get physical and that was a boundry I had set that
could not be crossed, so as most of you know, it ended Monday ( he also crossed the second boundry I had set at the same time).
I was not ready to let go yet and I feel as if I was forced to . How do you deal with that, being forced to let go??? I thought I was just starting to learn to deal with him and was hopeing there would be a chance of us getting back together. Now it's over and I am left with a mess to clean up that I was not ready to do. (my mind)
He said he would give me this weekend to be with my mom to help her and then he would get his things, he knew I would be busy. Well......he has called twice wanting to come get some things. I have said "NO, you said you would wait because of mom."
Well......here goes the sad, low voice. The pleading tone that has gotten all of us at one time or another. I got off the phone quick before I could even think of giving in and got on here. Before we hung up, he says "thank you" I didn't even ask what that was for!!!
Thanks again for letting me vent...