(((Christin))) You are doing the right thing. Choosing to protect your kids is always the right thing.
My XAH walked out on us. I was devastated. I had no clue what the future held, or even if I wanted a future. But I had to keep going for my kids.
You know what? It gets better. I've come to grips with the fact that I never had the relationship with my husband I thought I did. It was all a fantasy. The hardest thing was giving up the dream.
The kids and I live with my parents now. They see him for three hours a week. He thinks thats all he needs to do to be a good dad ~ see the kids for a couple hours and write a check. The rest of the time he can get loaded and high. Do you think the kids are suffering without him? Nope. They're better than ever!
You can do it. It won't be easy, but it will get better. Visit here often, and feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk!