Ambivalence

"The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them." Bertrand Russell

Often the most difficult task we face in Step Eight is making amends to a parent.

What mixed emotions we have about this!

Many men will say they never seemed to be able to cut the mustard as far as their fathers were concerned. Nothing they ever did was good enough. And their fathers never really demonstrated their love for them.

Many woman, on the othe hand, experience difficulties with their mothers. Sometimes this difficulty stems from the mothers and daughters competing for the attention or affection of the husbands/fathers.

The normal process in growing up is to leave our parents' home and make our own way in the world. However, for some of us, the umbilical cord has never been severed. We continue to behave as if we were still under our parents' control and responsible to them for all we do.

Even if we've become successful in our own right, we continue to be deeply affected by their opinion of us, and we're constantly seeking their applause and approval. We vacillate between love and resentment for them because although we need them, we resent our dependency.

Today's Step: I examine my relationships with my parents fearlessly and without blaming