Is there a right way to do the 8th step? I have seen 2 schools of thought here on this one and it is the subject of much debate.
Step 8 at face value says that we made a list of all that we had harmed ane became willing to make amends to them. This was fine until my Sponsor said this list should come from my 4th step inventory. If it wasn't on my inventory it obviously didn't affect my recovery in one way or another by making any amends to them. There were very few that could explain it to my satisfaction.
Step 4 suggests we list our Resentments, fears and sex conduct but it doesn't mention harm to others that fall outside these areas or is very vague at best, so I skipped it.
On pg76 the book says that "We have a list of all we have harmed and whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory." WTF?? I didn't have a list from my inventory and I was under the impression that it wasn't supposed to be made until Step 8.
Was my Sponsor wrong?? If I took the list from my resentments, fears and sex, I came up with 3 people that I needed to make amends to.
I would like some input on where this list is really supposed to come from. I would like to pass on the correct aproach to sponsees and as I am fairly new to this I don't have all the answers.