I am hard on myself.
I haven't shared my complete history with him for a couple reasons.
He gets jealous when just I mention other men at work or from my past that I am friendly with. If he knew that I still work with my very messed up XABF I can totally understand that he'd be worried, not only about being able to trust me but also what the other guy is capable of doing. I wouldn't be happy knowing my boyfriend still worked with a girl that he once lived with, had so much history with. I know that I'm trust worthy and I don't feel like explaining or defending my integrity to him, I'd like to be able to just let him make his own judgements about me based on current events. At some point I hope to find a job or a situation that takes me completely away from my XABF.
Also I may be suffering from depression. I seem to get "worked up" over silly things. I nag and keep it up too. I cry and cry sometimes then a day later I am totally fine. And this guy certainly doesn't deserve it.
About taking my own vehicle. Seems simple enough but I'm kind of already stranded at his house today (he's at work) since it's snowing and my vehicle drives poorly in the snow I'm also not from this area, I live an hour away so i have no idea where this party is or the pre-party. I think he'd be very offfended if i wanted to take my own car at this point. Like I'd be embarrassed to be with him. He keeps questioning me about whether I am sick of him yet etc. It's only been two months and we're already having these misunderstandings where he takes things I say completely wrong in my mind anyway. He gets offended easily at times. I am really not accustomed to a guy like this. He's a caring person and vulnerable. Much like me. BTW we met online. Matched by eharmony so we're supposed to be highly compatible based on 29 dimensions. But occassionally I just feel like no one really understands me. Even myself.