prodigal

5Stars, I remember when you first posted here in the hopes of helping your abf detox himself at home. I respect your loyalty to be there for him and to have had a sincere desire to help him.

Now it's down to the nit and grit as to what addicts do. His first, last and ONLY pursuit is to maintain his addiction at the cost of you, at the cost of your children, and perhaps, ultimately, at the cost of his own life.

I feel for you, but I respect the fact that you are doing everything you can to give your kids a nice Christmas. Get in touch with social services, the YWCA and YMCA, local churches, The Salvation Army, WHATEVER .... there are plenty of good people out there who will offer you as much help as they can in your time of need. You and your kids deserve to have a roof over your head, food on the table, and enough money to have basic transportation - even if it's public transportation.

I'd be numb too after watching someone trash my finances - and not even give a good cahoot. But that IS what addicts do. And they do it over and over and over.

I cannot answer whether or not you are actually going to have a nervous breakdown, I can only speculate. I think you have enough guts and fight in you to keep that from happening for the sake of your children. Ultimately, you have to make your own decisions. I think it's time for you to sit down, and with the utmost seriousness do whatever you need to do to kick this man to the curb and get him out of your life. He is a MAJOR liability. God wants the best for you. Reach out to decent people who have the best interests of you and your children in their hearts. Believe me, there are people in this world who will want to help. Do not put your bf in that category. Perhaps a more fitting category for him would be exbf ....