GiveLove

5Stars,

I'm sorry things have gotten to this. But you DO amaze me -- that you're able to still see the beauty in your life that he can't take away from you.

I went through a similar numbness and it was a lot like PTSD. There is a lot going on for you and you have gone a bit on shutdown so it doesn't overwhelm you and running screaming down the sidewalk. Understandable.

Of your list, is there one small thing you can do today, one small step you can choose and successfully take, to help you start back toward the life you really want? It's like all of your problems are packed into a closet, so tight you can't even see the shelves. Is there one small thing you can reach in there and take out, smooth out, take care of?

I'd vote for taking the remaining 40.00 out of that account and opening your OWN account that he can't get. What would you do if you got your unemployment check? Put it in there where he can steal it? Can you go to the bank and start your own account with whatever is left in the one you have the joint ATM on?

Small steps to protect yourself.

Do you have family who can be your emergency safety net?

P.S. Why do you feel like you should be crying? Your lack of tears might just be your mama-bear instinct kicking in -- tears are not going to help you feed your kids or rectify this situation, and your mind knows that. Consider that you might be more of a warrior than you give yourself credit for.

GL