Transforming our resentments

"The Haves and the Have Nots can often be traced to the Dids and the Did Nots." Anonymous

In Step Eight we keep coming around full circle to our number one difficulty---resentment. Somehow it seems to recur with even greater intensity as we make our amends list. It's so hard to let go of the feelings that others deserve to be punished for their actions toward us. Getting to the point where we're willing to make amends to them is a real exercise in self-control.

The whole purpose of the steps that preceded Step Eight, as well as those that follow it, is to make us feel at one with ourselves. "Enlightened self-interest" is the name of the game in recovery, for until we put our own house in order, we won't be able to make any real progress.

This step doesn't suggest that we become meek, fawning or subservient. On the contrary, our strength and resolve grow enormously when we do not immediately react to negativity or even hostility from those we approach as we follow the dictates of Step Eight. It's not their mess that we're trying to clean up. It's ours. No matter how negatively they may respond to our efforst to set the record straight, we must remember that we're not setting out to seduce them into forgiveness or absolution. We're simply clearing away what we frequently refer to as "the wreckage of our past."

Today's Step: Making ammends increases my own sense of self-worth.