kelsh

Hi Tiburon,

I had a day that I wanted something but didn't know what...I had been sober 9 months but was angry at the world...not anything specific...had been taking a small amount of antidepressant waiting for my doc & counselor to diagnose my depression so I could be put on a theraputic dose...decided I needed a drink...& after putting my shoes on and off about three times..went to the store for a six pack...went to the psyc hospital that night...

I did get diagnosed with a severe chemical imbalance depression..
anger driven...and put on a theraputic dose of antidepressant and went on from there...this was 19 years ago and I am still sober and still take meds for my depression.

I wanted to be sober more than anything else in my life but I was so depressed and so unhapppy...I went to work everyday and to a meeting every night...something had to give...

I have found that the only way I could be okay was to work my AA Program in every aspect of my life and take the medication changes as they came. I had a psydoc and a medical doc helping me and then myself...It has been 19 years and for once in my adult life...I am stable with my depression. It is a miracle & I feel I finally have what I wanted....the ability to take part in a everyday living situation that I can enjoy and to be sober and happy with being sober.

I have been on my new medication + the one I have taken for many years for a year now....and it continues to work for me.

I hope you can find a way to be happy and continue on with your sobriety. Things happen because they happen. Once I was in the hospital for my depression/had been sober several years...and my friend went over to check my trailer to be sure the water wasn't frozen and turned on the water in the tub to a trickle...he did not notice that the drain in the tub was already frozen...What a mess...the whole trailer was flooded. I was in a safe, warm place..my doc told me not to worry that it could be fixed.

He was right.

kelsh