No you are not a loser. Do not be so hard on yourself. I know when I married my A, a very different tale was told than what was reality. Unfortunately I met reality when we got married. That is when the true colors came out. Mine told me I was a NAG and that all I did was nag and if I would just not NAG things would work. Alcoholics are sooooo good at putting blame on other people and taking no responsibility for themselves. You are right where you need to be. You have to take care of yourself so you can take care of your kid(s) and dogs. You are not a loser.