If you can get out, do so now! Of course, I understand that sometimes it is very nearly impossible. I will tell you that my father relapsed when I was very young. My mom grew up with an alcoholic father and is incredibly codependent. My dad makes very good money, and my mom always stayed home. Neither had a college education. At eight I remember my mom crawling into my bed with my and crying because of my dad and his actions. She told me that night that she would leave him if she could take care of my little sister and I on her own. My sister and I transferred from a private school to a public, my mom worked part time as a bookkeeper, and the craziness continued. I feel that I am where I am today because of my mother. She focused so much on learning about herself, addiction, etc. She encouraged us to read books about it, shared information she got at therapy and Al Anon, and was always there to help us understand. Ten years after that night in my bed, my mom had secretly saved up enough money to rent a house and help us to live off of for a year. She finally set up an intervention with my dad (having a plan and the means to carry it out). Needless to say, my father got the picture that day and has been sober again for a year. The point is though, that even thought we never did get out, my mom worked so hard to try to keep us all safe, both physically, and mentally and emotionally. Sometimes that is all you can do. Guard your heart and mind, and your sons too. Find support in whoever you can. I will be praying for you.