FD wrote: "I think you're still looking for excuses for his poor behavior"
No, I'm not looking for excuses. It really was just a question for information. I know his behavior is bad. He has changed so many things since he got into recovery, but I'm wondering if the angry way of talking is beyond his ability to change because of brain damage.
The thing that prompted that question was a recent experience I had with vicoprofen (hydrocodone and ibuprofen) after my ankle surgery. I took it for about a month, several days of that around the clock. I didn't know how easy it was to become dependent on it. Although my experience with it was very short, the short period of withdrawal was VERY unpleasant. While on it, my perception of reality was altered such that nothing bothered me, I was happy, at peace, in la-la land. I don't remember some things that I did.
That led to my wondering if his bad behavior is, in part, based on actual destruction of nerves, brain cells, synapses (whatever) over a lifetime of drinking and drugging. He has changed SO MUCH since he got into recovery, but I'm theorizing that some things he cannot change because of brain damage.
IOW has he gotten as good as he is going to get? (I know no one can answer THAT question. Just wondering about the phenomenon of brain damage.)
Does that clarify the question?