It was after I ended it with my ex that I realized a few things about why I stayed with him for so long, and, put with so much. It was hard for me to admit, but, I was raised on it...I was used to it.
What it took for me to end it was finally realizing that if I stayed, I could die, literally! That part I wasn't used to.
Now that I have that information about myself, I no longer tolerate certain behaviors. I am very sensitive to condescending tones/attitudes and blatantly hurtful words. Hopefully I always will be. That way I won't accept it as normal anymore, or rather, accept it period!
I've also heard about the age they start drinking with respect to their emotional maturity. I'm no expert, so I can't say anything medically conclusive. But, it certainly seemed as though that was how my ex was. He started drinking at 16 and as far as I know, some 30+ years later, probably still is.
It sounds to me like you might be ready to let go of at least half of the relationship. And if that works for you, then great! But consider that you might only be allowing yourself to gain half the happiness too. I don't know your situation, so I could be totally off-base! Wouldn't be the first time, LOL!
Best of luck to you in whatever you decide.