Well, I told you to go by his ACTIONS.....guess he's doing pretty darn good in that area, huh?
And I am NOT saying "told ya so"....I'm actually very happy that he is working so hard at his recovery, but I do understand how you're feeling. Years ago, when I first tried to get clean, I actually spent holidays at the AA club instead of with my dad and stepmom. My dad was furious and said "you're putting them ahead of us".
What he didn't realize, was I was putting my recovery first. Right now you're newly-recovering AH has a lot going on. He's dealing with what he's put you and the family through, losing his job and trying to find another, financial worries.....and how to deal with all this and NOT use. That doesn't mean YOU aren't going through a lot, too, and I hope you find a way to get to a meeting, but honestly....I get everything I need from the great folks here at SR (that's just me...isn't enough for everyone).
If he's like most of us RA's, we are impatient to make amends and it takes a while to realize we can't rush it. I was like a lot of people....."just give me the 12 steps and I'll get them done tonite" - doesn't work that way. Once he gets a sponsor, it will help a lot, because he'll find out he can't "hurry up and get it". I had a lot of people tell me to slow down...I wasn't going to be able to read the cliff notes of recovery and then go on my merry way. I had to watch other people, who have been doing this for years, to realize that it really is a lifelong process.
I think I made 140 meetings in 90 days. Then I slowed down and just went to my favorite meetings, more often some weeks, less other weeks. I don't go to meetings today...I have very supportive friends and family and I get a lot from SR. BUT, I know exactly where and what time meetings are close by my house and will go if I need to. I still use a LOT of what I learned from AA in my recovery and I will not hesitate to go back if I get to a dangerous place in my head. I totally understand people who go to AA for the rest of their lives.....everyone's different and "it takes what it takes".
I'm really glad you're posting about this, and I don't want it to sound like it's all about him. You've already made a huge amount of progress. I hope you can find a way to get to a few meetings, too. Just remember, this recovery thing is new to both of you...as long as you're communicating (yeah!), he's working on his recovery, and you're taking care of you and the kids, it will work out....it just takes time.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy